Love is an interesting feeling. You know it when you look at someone and you feel like you’ve had honey sprinkled on your soul. Sticky yet sweet, uncomfortable yet utterly satisfyingly selfish yet with an ocean’s worth of compassion. It’s a paradoxical jumble of emotions in and of itself, beautiful and magnificent chaos, chaos we all choose to indulge in, because what is being human without falling in and out of love right?
As veterans in this chaotic game of love, (the current state of things in the world ensures that were mostly all in this bracket by 20), we’ve come to realize that there are absolutely no rules to this shit. If love is always believed to start with chemistry then these days our personal cupids seem to be throwing fistfuls of potassium in water urns just for kicks. A look, a smile, that weird Marylyn Monroe thing ladies are learning to do with their eyelashes these days, (Mostly fake but real if you’re lucky), and you’re hooked. Then begins the whirlwind of romance with a distinct Nairobi flavor, dates, kisses, the whole caboodle, everything shoots to a high like a rocket but comes crashing down with just as much momentum.
Sometimes there is a fundamental chemical difference between the two parties to the reaction but they’re either too hopped up on the fumes of romance produced when they are together, or the reaction between them stopped ages ago but nostalgia has them with severe Stockholm syndrome. The worst is when one side just cannot stand the thought of the significant other being with someone else, so they keep them clamped down like a mouse trap (read toxic situationships).
In other situations, the complexity of human emotion plays in creating circumstances that are utterly stupid to any onlooker but remain incomprehensible the actual people involved. One party for example may be insecure to the extent that even as they gain affection from the other party, that in itself has them even more insecure, and that naturally leads to the couple playing out with unnerving precision the scenes of an Adele song.
What’s funny is, despite how complicated all of this is were forever going to be unable to extricate ourselves from it. When single, we’ll daydream about moonlight nights, electric eye contact and sparks flying across the room when you’ll meet someone who will make your heart beat like those African war drums we used to write about in primary school. Even the most cynical human being will reveal some anticipation when speaking in such a context.
Personally, I’m not quite sure whether its my personality or the copious amounts of ginger tea I’ve been having these past few years but I oscillate between being a hopeless romantic and an absolute cynic. What was it Alicia Keys said? “I don’t want nothing at all, if I can’t have you “Some of me looks forward to someday feeling like that and yet I still want several things much more, so until then, its just me and my teapot, all y’all can sue me.